Furious Angel
by Sihaya
Summary: *Chapter 3 posted* TONKS FIC Later Romance/Drama/Humor - its a crazy mix. Hopefully this will turn out to be Tonk's life story from her 5th year at Hogwarts, but this is the humble beginnings for you. Maybe Tonks/Lupin later on.
1. onE

**furious angel**

chapter one

Jinx me something crazy

Thinking if it's three

Then I'm as smooth as the skin

That rolls across the small of your back

It's too bad it's just not my style

If you need me I'm out,

And on the parkway

Patient and waiting for headlights dressed

In a fashion that's fitting to the

Inconsistencies of my moods

It's times like these when silence means

Everything 

It's a campaign on distraction and revisionist history

It's a shame I doubt they'd notice

I doubt they even care

No one is to know about this

Don't let me down

But whatever I have been getting myself into

Lately has been slicing inches from my waist

It's my fist vs. the bottle and that's how bad this could hurt…

…Against I won't feel a thing

No one is to know about this

Don't let me down

We were taught so much better than this…

This is what living like this does…

Thank God you weren't there to watch me hit bottom.

-Ghost Man on Third

Taking Back Sunday

                                                                                                                          *                                         

               "Nymphadora!" called a voice from downstairs. "Nymphadora, this is the third time I've called you, you've got to wake up!" Andromeda Tonks prodded one of the frying egg whites with her wand and watched it sizzle. Smoke rose off the egg and rose into the air, bending itself into graceful, hypnotizing designs before disappearing. She caught herself transfixed for a moment by the delicate patterns and continued prodding the egg with her wand, sliding the Beachwood rod under one of the whites and flipping into the air. It landed back on the frying pan with a _slap_ that disturbed her husband, Ted, from behind the pages of his _Daily Prophet. _The paper rustled as he craned his neck to see over the top of the paper.

               "Anything interesting in the news, dear?" asked Andromeda as she proceeded to flip the two other whites at once. They landed within a millisecond of each other, landing on the pan next to the third egg. Ted returned to the headlines as she continued cooking breakfast, skimming the articles for anything that might interest his wife. Ted sighed.

               "Some more Muggles in York were killed by a band of rabid Death Eaters," he said, disgust ripping off his teeth. He slammed the paper shut and tossed it onto the table as his wife called once more for their daughter.

               At first Tonks was unable to hear her mother calling, as her face was shoved into her pillow and her ears covered by a thick blanket, but soon she rolled over and was awakened by a combination of the bright sun in her eyes and the promising odors wafting up the stairs. She rolled over again and promptly fell off the bed, dragging her sheets with her. "Ouch!" she said, trying in vain to disentangle herself from the sheets. It took a good five minutes, but soon Tonks was freed from the imprisoning blankets and skidding down the stairs towards breakfast. She slipped on the last step and had to grab for the banister, but she made it into the kitchen without serious injury.

               "Morning, Mum, Dad," she said, plopping herself down in her seat.

               "Eat quickly, Nymphadora," urged Andromeda, "or you'll miss the Express _again_." 

               "You know, I think I've asked you not to call me Nymphadora even more times than I've missed the train to Hogwarts," said Tonks conversationally as she speared the egg white whole on her fork and took a big, very unladylike bite out of it. "Try every morning since the _first day of my first year…_"

               "I don't understand why you hate you're name so much," said Andromeda as she sat down beside her husband. "It's a perfectly lovely name."

               Tonks did not bother to justify this statement with a retort and continued her campaign to fit the remaining egg white into her mouth at once. 

               "Are you all packed, Nym…" Andromeda cut off the question upon the threatening look that she received from her daughter. "Are you all packed?" Tonks shrugged and swallowed the egg in one enormous gulp. "I'm not sending your socks by Owl this year!" she called after Tonks's retreating back.

               Tonks was emptying her sock drawer into her suitcase when her mother walked in. "Oh dear, no," she said, whirling her wand and jabbing it towards the pile of (mostly dirty) socks that, until a moment ago, had been sitting in a heap upon Tonks's _Weird Sisters Unite! _shirt. The socks folded themselves together and crammed themselves into a relatively neat pile besides Tonks's spare set of robes as Tonks paced around the room, throwing various knick-knacks into her suitcase. 

               "Now, if we get one warning owl this year- _one, _Nymphadora- there will be consequences, young lady," said Andromeda with her hand on her hip. 

               "Since when have I ever misbehaved at Hogwarts, mum?" asked Tonks brightly. "I'm a good student"-

               "Let me think a moment, darling, there was that incident with the Dungbomb"-

               "An accident."

               "The bewitched broomstick?"

               "Smith's fault."

               "The exploding cauldron?!"

               "I was framed, Mother! Have a little faith."

               Andromeda sighed and flicked her wand at the suitcase. It squeezed shut and zippered itself. "I expect, then, that there will be no accidents, Smithies, or framings this year, then. It's O.W.L. year, Nymphadora, and expectations- both from me and your father and from your school- will be higher."

               "Really?"

               "Really."

               "Well, I expect there won't be a chance for higher expectations if we don't leave ten minutes ago."

               It took a moment for Andromeda to process what her daughter had just said, but then she glanced at the clock and saw that her daughter was right- they were late for the Hogwarts Express, as they had been for the last three years in a row.

               "GET IN THE CAR!" yelled Andromeda.

               "Gladly," said Tonks, falling down the last three steps. 

*

               It took some magic and a lot of luck, but soon Tonks was jumping on to the already moving Hogwarts Express and yelling goodbye to her mother out of the window. Andromeda waved, sighed, and slipped her wand into her robes. "I expect we'll be hearing from you soon," she whispered as she stepped off the platform and into the bustling Muggle station.

*

               "Tonks! You made it!" Keith shouted as Tonks swept a pile of Chocolate Frog cards off the only vacant seat left in the compartment. Keith, Smith, and Greg took up the other seats. Greg, the most intelligent and the least daring of the three boys, already had his thick black Hogwarts robes on and was busy fussing with his Prefects badge. He fumbled to slide the pin through the thick material. Smith grinned and winked and then raised his wand. 

               "_Accio badge!"_ said Smith, pointing his wand at his unfortunate friend. The badge soared easily out of Greg's hand and landed neatly in Smith's open palm. "Look at how it shines smartly in the sunlight, Tonks," he said, holding it up to the window and turning it so that the rays of sun glinted off the badge's many-faceted purple and gold face. "It just makes me want to kill it!" Keith laughed as he unfolded his robes from his stuffed trunk and slipped them over his gray T-shirt that advertised his favorite minor-league Quidditch team. 

               Greg sighed exasperatedly and tapped his fingers on the windowpane, glaring at Smith. "Ah, lighten up Greg, it's only a badge," said Smith, tossing it into the air. It spun, sending prismatic rays of light around the compartment. He caught it in his hands and threw it up again, but this time he was not so lucky- the badge clattered onto the floor. "Oops," said Smith, diving under the seat to retrieve it. Greg rolled his eyes as he watched Smith's mad search for the badge and turned to Tonks, who had just sat down beside him.

               "So, _Nymphadora, _this must be Hogwarts history," he said, an uncharacteristic evil grin on his face. "I think you are the only student that has missed the Hogwarts Express _every year_ since her first year," he said. Although she was glad to see that Greg had not lost touch with his humorous streak in the disaster of his "Prefect-tion" she still hated her awful name as much as usual.

               "Don't call me that!" She said as she stood and began to dig through her trunk searching for her own set of robes. She pushed a neatly rolled sock aside. "My mother calls me that."

               "Yes, we know," Keith said "You've told us…many, many times." A barn owl flew across the compartment and perched on his shoulder as he unwrapped another Chocolate Frog and tossed the grimy wrapper into the growing pile of crinkly plastic wrappers that was situated between Keith and the wall of the train. Greg eyed the pile with disgust as he Summoned his badge back from Smith and once again began the seemingly impossible task of fastening the badge to his robes. Tonks held her hand out, taking the badge from her friend. 

               "Ravenclaw prefect," Tonks said admiringly as she eyed the golden badge with the purple trimming. The image of the Ravenclaw badger was engraved into the center. She ran her index finger over the smooth lines of the badge and then handed it back to him. "Who would have guessed it?" She said sarcastically as she leaned back in her seat and Summoned a Frog from the pile in front of Keith. Keith then placed a protective arm around his chocolate.

                "So, who's your new partner in crime?" Tonks asked playfully, referring to Greg's prefect partner. 

               Greg winced, as if it pained him to think about who he would have to work with for the next year. He sighed exasperatedly and fingered the badge, sliding it through his robes again. "Rachel Laurence," he said as he finally got the clasp shut. "Why couldn't it have been anyone but her…?" he said. "She's become even more of a priss than when I met her. You think _I'm _bad," he continued, laughing. "That girl has no life besides her grades and annoying people. And then there are her friends! They're even worse! A bunch of bloody pricks if I've ever seen one." 

               Smith laughed and grabbed the last Frog from an indignant Keith. "I used to think she was cute. Of course," he said quickly, scrambling to save himself from the horrified looks he was receiving from the other three in the compartment, "that was _before _I realized that she couldn't take a joke…"

               "Oh, was that when you transfigured her book into a tarantula in the second year?" said Tonks.

               "No, that was"- Greg's answer was interrupted by three booming knocks at the compartment door. 

               "Who is it?" hollered Keith from his corner as he attempted to charm open the window and throw the wrappers out of it. Greg was watching him with interest as if to see if his friend was intelligent enough to complete what he was trying to do. The window budged an inch as he door slid open without answer. A tall pale girl with skin white as paper, straight black bangs, and dark gray/blue eyes stood with her long-fingered hand on her hip, glaring at Greg. She tapped her long, pointed red nails silently against her robes and clucked her tongue against her teeth. A badge identical to the one that Greg was wearing gleamed on her robes, as if it had just been polished. "Greg, you were _supposed _to report to the Prefects Compartment!" she said in an extremely annoying _Duh! _tone of voice. 

               "Hullo, Rachel," said Smith in a friendly tone of voice. He got a glare in return. "I look forward to seeing us beat you in Quidditch!" he said, as if retorting to a silent insult.

               "Shut up, Clemens," said Rachel, calling him by his surname. "I don't expect you'll be good enough to get on the team anyway, so you won't have to worry about that, will you?" She jutted her chin forward, her hair swishing over her shoulder. 

               "Yes, Rachel," Keith said sarcastically, "you're so much more talented at Quidditch than us."

               Rachel twirled her wand in her hands as she turned her head to glare at everyone present, as if she couldn't decide whom she was the most pissed at. Keith cowered in mock fear, crushing his pile of still present Chocolate Frog wrappers and causing them to spill all over the floor in a haphazard, chocolaty mess. "Damn," he muttered, pushing them into a pile on the dirty floor with his wand. "_Wingardium Leviosa!" _ he whispered, sending them all out the window one by one. Rachel opened her mouth to give Keith detention, but Tonks spoke first.  "Why don't you just leave, Rachel?" She suggested. "Greg will be along in a minute."

               "I'm planning on leaving as soon as he"- Rachel pointed to Greg –"Gets his butt out here and comes down to the Prefects Compartment where he's supposed to be. I don't trust him to be able to find it by himself." Keith turned from his wrapper project to stare at Rachel as if he didn't know if he had heard her right. 

               "Just leave, Rachel," Tonks said, her voice laden with syrupy kindness. "The Slytherins miss you."

               "_Mudblood," _Rachel hissed under her breath as she grabbed the sleeve of Greg's robes and dragged him out of the compartment. "Actually, it's one of my parent's that's a Mudblood," Tonks said conversationally as she sent a curse after Rachel as the door shut, feeling satisfied as she heard a terrified scream come from the hallway. 

               "Quick, do another spell," hissed Smith under his breath as Rachel screamed again. Smith was all too aware of the uses of the _Prior Incantato_ trick and had learned to always perform a harmless spell after you curse somebody. Tonks thought it was funny how adept Smith was at hiding the evidence, but she had to admit that it did come in handy.

               "_Accio book!" _ Tonks said. The book soared into her hand as the glass door slid open and a very angry looking Minerva McGonagall looked down at her through her half-spectacles. 

*

               "I can't believe you landed yourself in detention on the first day of school!" said Keith as they trudged up to the castle from the horseless carriages. The sky was an angry slate, but it failed to put a damper on the trio's moods. A soft rain began to fall as the students came into the great hall. Tonks shrugged as she turned her head, trying to see the first years on the lake through the haze. The figure of the half-giant groundskeeper, Hagrid, was clearly visible in spite of the increasing drizzle. The, rather pathetic looking fleet of small, canoe-shaped boats glided across the surface of the lake as Tonks, Smith, and Keith sat down at the Gryffindor table. A warm feeling settled over Tonks as she glanced at the golden tableware and then at the cavernous entrance, where the muddy (as usual) first-years were filing in. Tonks grinned.

               "They're so tiny!" remarked a girl sitting a few seats down and on the other side of the table. Her name was Graciela. Her skin was neither pale nor tan; it was a shade that was complemented by her honey-colored, hair. She had oddly dark eyes for someone so fair. It was said that she had the Sight that the Divination professors loved to see in a student. Tonks remembered a time when she had wished to be like Graciela- the beautiful, graceful, swan-like girl was opposite in every way from Tonks. But Tonks had found a comfort zone with her friends and with herself that she was not willing to leave that quickly. She would never be like Graciela, but Graciela would never be like Tonks, either.

               The Sorting passed surprisingly quickly. It usually seemed over-long and drawn out, but the students must have been easy to read this year because they were all sorted in under twenty minutes. When "Zerelson, Zora," was seated at the Hufflepuff table, the headmaster stood. Tonks remembered what her mother had said about Albus Dumbledore- "He is the only wizard You-Know-Who is afraid of. You'll be safer there than anywhere else. I love you, baby," she had said, kissing her on the cheek and sending her off for the first (and for a long time, only) time that she had traveled on the Hogwarts Express. Even though Voldemort had been three years gone, there had been uprisings of Death Eaters against Muggles and the Muggle-Born, and Tonks remembered worrying about being the daughter of a Muggle Born all the way to Hogwarts. Of course, the Chocolate Frogs she ate hadn't helped either…

               "Fifth years will be able to try out for their House Quidditch teams, prefects will have more information…the list of objects forbidden inside the grounds of this school is taped to Filch's door, as usual…Filch asks that no, I repeat, _no _magic be performed in the hallways…Tuck in!" Food appeared in the golden serving bowls that were lined along the four House tables.

               "Mmm," said Keith, taking Dumbledore's words to heart. "Taste's a bloody lot better than my mum's cooking, I can tell you that!" he said, enthusiastically heaping another towering spoonful of mashed potatoes onto his plate. The potatoes spilled onto his vegetables and seemed to invade the space he had reserved for the chicken he had arranged so carefully on his plate, but it did not seem to bother Keith, as he just drizzled everything with butter.

               "Pass it here!" said Smith happily; reaching out to grab the pitcher of melted butter that Keith had just basically emptied. 

               The doors to the Great Hall opened once more, and a tan girl with curly brown hair stomped inside. She had a wide, friendly smile on her face as she explained something to Professor McGonagall and then walked the rest of the way to the Gryffindor table. 

               "Hi, Marie," Smith said, offering her the pitcher. Marie took it and set it down next to her plate as she began loading her plate with a little bit of something from every bowl in her immediate vicinity. "Why are you so late?" 

               Marie grinned. "I had a bit of a run-in with Snape, but by some miracle I got away without a detention."

               "Ah," Keith said, sticking a broccoli flower in his mouth and licking the dripping liquid butter from his fingers. "Our friend Nymphadora here wasn't so lucky." Marie raised her eyebrows across the table at Tonks as she raised a spoonful of steak and kidney pudding to her lips.

               "What'd you do?" she asked.

                "I cursed Rachel Laurence, she screamed, and McGonagall has to see me in her office tomorrow." Tonks smiled. "It was worth it. I don't know how that girl got out of being put in Slytherin. She looks like a Death Eater." 

               "Smells like a Death Eater," Keith put in. 

               "Yeah," Smith said. Marie raised her eyebrows. 

               "Maybe there's something you don't know about Rachel," she said.

               "Like what?" asked Smith. "You know something?" 

               "No," Marie said, sipping from her goblet. "I'm just saying"-

               "Oh, don't get all philosophical and 'feelings-oriented' on us, Marie," said Tonks playfully, knocking her cup over and accidentally spilling her juice onto Keith's potatoes, which was already swimming in butter. He didn't notice the extra flavor as he took another bite. The butter must have overpowered it. He continued eating even as Smith started laughing hysterically and had to dive under the table to hide his face, which was growing redder by the second. Tonks nonchalantly straightened her cup and blotted Keith's potatoes with the sleeve of her robes.

               "Ugh," Marie said, looking incredulously at Keith. "_How_ can he not notice that there is _pumpkin juice on his potatoes?" _

               "So _that's _what it is!" said Keith. "I thought these tasted different then before! It's good. Thanks, Tonks."

               "You're welcome, Keith," she replied, drinking from her half-emptied goblet. Marie exhaled and rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Keith caught the look on Marie's face and grinned at Tonks.

               "You're not like us, Marie," said Keith playfully. "You can't appreciate the subtle flavoring of pumpkin juice and butter"-

               -"The beauty of the softly simmering cauldron"-

               -"The delicate power of liquids that creep through the human veins"-

               -"Bewitching the mind"-

               -"Ensnaring the senses…" Tonks poked the orange-tinted potatoes with her fork. "I guess that's as close to stopper death as we're ever going to get." Smith laughed. They had been making fun of Snape's speech and namely, Snape, since the first day that they had had Potions with the greasy haired slimeball. Tonks wasn't exactly a favorite of Snape's, since she was always either tipping over her cauldron or tipping over someone else's cauldron, and since she was always breaking something she never had time to listen to Snape's instructions or read what he had written on the board. Consequently, Potions was her worst subject, but it was fun since Keith and Smith helped to liven it up while Marie watched on, never taking part but never outwardly disapproving. 

               "D'you reckon if Snape touched water, he would shrivel and melt or something?" Keith asked as the food drained from the bowls and dessert appeared. 

               "Reckon so," said Smith. 

               "He could just wash it off with some oil if he got hit, you know," remarked Marie. Tonks laughed. 

               "Are you going to try out for Quidditch?" she asked. Keith and Smith gave her dead imitations of Rachel Laurence's trademark _Duh _look, and they held it for about three seconds before they started cracking up. 

               "Hell, yeah!" said Smith. "I'm going out for Beater. Looks like fun…you could always let go of the bat and aim it for Snape instead of playing…"

               "I think I'm gonna go for Keeper," said Keith. "It starts with the same letter as my name!" 

               "Chaser," said Marie. "I think." 

               "I dunno what I should do," said Tonks.

               "Be a Beater."

               "Or you could go out for Seeker and change and make yourself look like someone on the opposite team so the other team's Seeker won't clobber you," said Keith excitedly. "It's brilliant!" Smith clapped him on the back and Tonks allowed them to sit there looking pleased with themselves for the rest of the dinner. Finally the food melted back into the plates and the students traipsed together to their dormitory. 

               "Who's our prefects?" asked Marie, looking on everyone's robes for the red and gold glint of the Gryffindor badge. 

               "Janice Morrow and Ben Caesar," said Smith. 

               "How'd you know that?" asked Tonks. 

               "Ben sent me an owl," Smith said, shrugging.

               "Oh," Tonks said. She liked Ben, and Janice was a far cry from Rachel Laurence, so she was happy. It could have been worse.

               Janice was standing at the portrait of the Fat Lady, her hand resting on the gilded frame. Her golden eyes flashed in their direction, making sure they were Gryffindors as she swung the portrait away from the wall, revealing the interior of the Gryffindor Tower. "Password's _Kennilworthy Whisp_," she said as they passed. "Remember that!"

               The Gryffindor Tower looked as warm and inviting as it had every other year that Tonks had had the privilege of entering it (late, mind you.) As the place was full of chairs, it was more klutz-proof than the rest of the castle, where Tonks had had frequent run-ins with coats of armor, Peeves, and the aforementioned cauldrons. She sank into a squashy armchair and put her feet up on the one opposite. Keith than sat on her feet, so she removed them. They sat quietly for a moment, Keith digging through the pockets of his robes, and Tonks going to sleep in the warm armchair. He found a leftover wrapper and threw it into the fire. It melted onto a log as two other Gryffindors took the chairs next to them. 

               "It's good to be back," Tonks said. Keith said, "Uumph," which meant "Yes" in Keithish. "I haven't had any major accidents yet," Tonks remarked. 

               "Yeah," he agreed sleepily, "The potatoes tasted good."

               "Mmm." Defeated, Tonks pried her eyes open and climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Marie was already in the process of unpacking, energetic as usual. Tonks flipped the catch on her trunk and dug through her belongings, finding the oversized T-shirt and Muggle boxer shorts that she usually wore to bed. She changed and then sat on the bed, squeezing her eyes shut. Although Marie had seen Tonks transform many times before, it was always interesting to watch. 

               A second later Tonks had lost the gelled-up spiky 'do that she had come to school with and now had long brown hair that reached to just below her armpits. Tonks often morphed before sleeping, preferring to drift off to whatever dream world she visited with gel-free hair. She lay down on the soft pillow and fell slowly into a deep sleep. She wasn't even awakened by the rocket that someone let off in the common room, which was a pity because that was the kind of thing that she lived off most of the time. 

               If she dreamed, she didn't remember any of the dreams in the morning. 

*****

Disclaimer- some characters belong to JK, some do not, you know what belongs to me *sobs* its not much, but its something…

I 3 +Oliver+Fred+


	2. twO

Chapter Two 
    
    We fuss, we brawl
    
    We rise, we fall
    
    He comes in vain
    
    But it's okay

-Addiction  

Truth Hurts featuring Rakim 

*

               "Unbelievable! This is unbelievable!" cried Keith, slamming the ten-pound (at least) History of Magic textbook down on the table in the Gryffindor common room. He slammed his thick wad of scribbled shorthand notes down next to the textbook and collapsed in the chair. "Three feet…" he groaned. Marie drew her ruler out of her bag and slapped it against his blank parchment.

               "It's not that bad," she said.

               "Yes, it is," insisted Smith.

               "No, it's not."

               "It is, Marie," Tonks broke in, taking the ruler and measuring it against the few paragraphs of large print that she had managed to salvage from her notes. "I only have a half a foot of big writing and I'm already out of material!" she reached over and grabbed Keith's notes, angling them on the table so that they could both see the pages upon pages of spindly writing at the same time. "You take much better notes than me," she said, drawing out a new piece of parchment and detailing the points of her essay based upon what Keith had written. Smith leaned over so that he could benefit from Keith's scholarly-ness also. Marie drew her own 2-½ foot essay from her bag in a very annoying way and arranged them on the table in front of her. Smith came around the table so he could sit next to Marie, craning his neck so that he could see both papers at once. 

               "You're going to fail your O.W.L.s," Marie said. "I'm not going to be there for you to cheat off of when you take the test, Smith."

               "No, but you're here now."

               "Live for the moment!" Keith said, smiling and switching from looking at his notes to looking at Marie's almost finished essay. She finished it off in a big scrawl and measured it. 

               "Two feet, 11 inches," she said, her eyebrows drawing together. Then she smiled, picked her quill back up, and signed her name with flourish on the bottom of the parchment.

               "You're name's on there twice," Keith pointed out to Marie as Tonks accidentally spilled her inkwell, and hastened to blot it off her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. The front cover of the book now boasted a large, shiny black splotch.

               "I don't reckon Professor Kendall will like that very much," said Smith, drawing his finger through the still-drying puddle. 

               "I don't _reckon _that Professor Kendall likes anything I do very much," said Tonks.

               "Is there any chance that that's because you slipped and cursed him at the beginning of last year?" Marie suggested, pushing her paper towards Keith so that he could finish.

               "Maybe," Tonks admitted. She didn't like thinking about that incident. Kendall had been sent to the hospital wing for four days with two feathery chicken wings sprouting out from under his armpits. "It was an accident," she said feebly. 

               "It was _hilarious,_" Keith said, measuring his parchment for the third time in the last minute. "Nobody likes Kendall, save a few Slytherins. You're our hero, Nymphadora." Tonks gritted her teeth but didn't say anything, trying to concentrate on her essay. "I don't know how that guy's held his job for two years running," Keith rambled. "Everyone hates him and we've barely learned a thing. We had a really good teacher the year before him, but no, he had to leave too, so we're stuck with Kendall…"

               "_Silencio,_" Tonks whispered, pointing her wand at Keith from under the table. It took a second for Keith to realize that he wasn't making any sounds anymore, even though his mouth was still moving. His face screwed up as he looked wildly around him to see who had put the spell on him. Out of pity, Tonks took the spell of after five minutes.

               "You _SUCK!"_ Keith yelled at Tonks. The rest of the Gryffindor fifth years turned around from their tables, yelling at him to shut up. Someone threw a spare quill at him, which conked him in the head. "_Expelliarmus!" _Tonks wand flew across the room. "_Wingardium Leviosa!" _Keith said, keeping the wand hovering in the air halfway across the room. He snapped his wand forward; causing the wand to hit the boy that had threw the quill at him in the head. "Ha!" Keith said, summoning the wand back to him with a twitch of his own. "Sweet, sweet revenge."

               "Give me my wand back," Tonks said. Keith only held it farther away, twirling it between his fingers playfully. Tonks smiled sweetly at him, threateningly fingering the half-empty inkwell that she had spilled earlier. She tilted it above his parchment. Keith gave her the wand back and put his hand protectively over his hard-copied two feet of writing. Tonks slid the wand back into her robes and once more bent over her essay.

               "Two feet, six inches," she said, enlarging her writing on the next sentence and glancing once more at the notes. "What does that say?" she asked Keith, pointing at a smeared phrase. Keith squinted at the writing and leaned closer. 

               "I think it says, '_was arrested and sentenced to._'" 

               "So, it says, "was arrested and sentenced to three years at the Ministry of Magic?"

               "I dunno, maybe it says 'put on trial at,' or something."

               "Why do we have to learn about this?" Tonks said, measuring her parchment again. "I can guarantee you that some Gringotts robbery in 1512 isn't going to affect the course of my life in any significant way."

               "Yeah, he only made off with a Galleon and a few Sickles," commented Smith.

               "And a Knut," said Marie, lounging back in her chair. "Three Knuts, in fact."

               "_Wow_," said Keith.

               Tonks signed her name at the bottom of the paper. "There," she said in a satisfied way. Keith grinned and wrote K E I T H in spiky letters along the bottom of his paper.

               "I don't _do _script," he said. 

               A few moments of silence passed as they slid their parchments back into their bags. "I wonder how Greg's doing," Smith said as he wrote his last sentence. 

               "I don't imagine that he's doing very well," said Tonks, snapping the clasps of her bag shut. 

               "I guess not, not with that Rachel person," Keith said, looking across the room into the fire. "Hey Smith, I challenge you to a game of chess." He looked at the two girls. "You guys play each other. Winner plays winner."

               "What's the loser have to do?" said Marie, not moving from her comfortable seat in the armchair.

               Keith looked at Smith. "Loser has to run around the floor in their underwear," he said, grinning wickedly.

               "Fine," Tonks said. Marie looked apprehensive.

               "Underwear?" she said.

               "C'mon, it'll be fun," Tonks said, grabbing her friend's arm and pulling her out of the chair and towards the four seats by the fire. They set up the board, Tonks playing the black pieces and Marie the white pieces. She jumped a knight over her pawns for her first move. The knight cracked his knuckles menacingly as he looked at the military line of black pawns at the opposite side of the board. Tonks sent a pawn two spaces forward, opening up a move for her bishop. The boys were playing a much noisier game next to them.

               "KILL THE PAWNS!" yelled Keith. Marie rolled her eyes and moved her queen forward. The games went on for a long time, an hour and a half at least, before Tonks finally cornered Marie's king in a checkmate. Keith had beaten Smith at least forty minutes ago, and the two boys had amused themselves by setting off Dungbombs in the far corner of the common room where some first years were sitting.

               "C'mon, Keith, we don't got all night!" Tonks yelled across the half-empty room. It was getting late, and students were starting to wander up the stairs to their dormitories. 

               "We have eternity," Keith said, jumping over the back of the armchair and landing in the seat across from Tonks. She repositioned her black pieces on the board. The game was violent and furious but Tonks had Keith's king checkmated within twenty minutes this time. She leaned back and sent a gloating smile across the board at Keith.

               "Ha," Smith said. "C'mon, Keith, you agreed."

               Keith got up and followed Smith out the portrait hole. Marie and Tonks climbed out after them. The castle was silent and brooding in the dark. The sky was navy blue velvet outside the windows. Stars gleamed randomly through the glass, giving the halls an eerie glow. Keith tossed his robes to Tonks. "Can I keep my socks on, at least?" he asked.

               "What do we say, ladies?" Smith said, turning his head to face the pair of girls that were leaning against the wall next to the Fat Lady's portrait.

               "Let him keep his socks," Tonks said.

               "You heard her," Smith told Keith, who took his shirt and Muggle-style baggy jeans off. Marie giggled. Seeing Keith, the guy you joked around with all day, every day standing in the middle of the hallway in the black of night in his boxer shorts was pretty funny, Tonks thought. She smiled. 

               "Bye," Keith said awkwardly, turning to run down the hall. They could hear the slapping noises of his socked feet turn the corner, and soon the noises died away. Tonks slid down the wall to sit on the floor, and soon Greg and Marie were sitting too. When Keith had been gone for ten minutes, Tonks began to change her hair to amuse herself. Her hair was dandelion-yellow and in braids when Keith came back into sight. He did a little victory wave as he ran towards them, but he slipped in his socked feet and slid headfirst into a coat of armor. The helmet fell of first, and then the whole thing collapsed, clanging excellently and echoing around the halls. Keith swore and sprinted towards them. 

               "Quick, get in, before Filch comes!" he said when he was ten feet away. Marie opened the portrait hole and Keith dived into it as an angry roar and a meow echoed through the building. Tonks fell in after Keith. Smith and Marie piled in after them, laughing hysterically. Marie slammed the portrait shut as Filch let out another yell. "That was good!" Keith said. Smith slapped Keith on the back as they disentangled themselves. Tonks tossed Keith his robes back. He wrapped them around himself and sat down in the fire. 

               "How was it?" Smith asked.

               "Well, I felt really stupid the whole way through, and then I got really cold, but I didn't meet anybody except there was this one really close call with Peeves." Keith said in one breath. "I feel _exhilarated! _That was fun! You shoulda come, Tonks," said Keith, grinning at her. Tonks punched him playfully on the shoulder.

               "Well, I'm going to bed," said Marie, already on the landing of the steps leading to the girls' dormitories. Tonks followed a few minutes later.

               Marie remained quiet while Tonks changed her clothes and then her hair. "Keith looked good," she said quietly.

               "What?!" Tonks said, turning around so fast that she almost hit her head on the four-poster. Her clumsy body contented itself with falling onto the bed. 

               "Yeah. He did," she said. "Not that I like him or anything, but it's really weird, I've never thought about him _that _way, I never _dreamed _that I would, but he's so cute, y'know…" her voice trailed off. Tonks bit her lip, not knowing what to say.

               "Whatever floats your boat, Marie," she said, climbing under the covers. "I guess its not _too _weird…lots of people date…"

               "Not people like me with people like Keith, Tonks," Marie said, exasperated. "I can't seem to sort myself out lately."

               "Welcome to my world," Tonks said. She thought she could see a grin from the pillow across the room. 

               "Well…g'night…" Marie said, closing her eyes.

               "'Night," said Tonks. 

               She didn't fall asleep, though. For some reason she kept thinking about Marie and Keith. They were nowhere in the vicinity of being like each other, but maybe that was just what a good relationship needed. She didn't know. She had never had to think about this stuff before and she hadn't expected to have to think about it now. 

               A glint of sun began to show above the trees of the forest when she finally drifted off to sleep.

*****

A/N- hope ya like. Read and review. Tell your friends.

Disclaimer- I forgot to add that the title of the story is the title of a song that Rob Dougan wrote for _The Matrix: Reloaded. _It belongs to Mr. Dougan. 


	3. threE

Chapter Three
    
    I hate the world today.
    
    You're so good to me,
    
    I know but I can't change.
    
    Tried to tell you,
    
    But you look at me like maybe 
    
    I'm an angel underneath,
    
    Innocent and sweet.
    
    Yesterday I cried.
    
    You must have been relieved 
    
    To see the softer side,
    
    I can understand how you'd be so confused,
    
    I don't envy you.
    
    I'm a little bit of everything
    
    All rolled into one
    
    I'm a bitch, 
    
    I'm a lover,
    
    I'm a child, 
    
    I'm a mother,
    
    I'm a sinner, 
    
    I'm a saint,
    
    And I do not feel ashamed.
    
    I'm your hell, 
    
    I'm your dream,
    
    I'm nothing in between.
    
    You know you wouldn't want it any other way.
    
    So take me as I am,
    
    This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man.
    
    Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous,
    
    And I'm going to extremes:
    
    Tomorrow I will change,
    
    And today won't mean a thing
    
    Just when you think you've got me figured out,
    
    The season's already changin'.
    
    I think it's cool you do what you do
    
    And don't try to save me.
    
    I'm a bitch, 
    
    I'm a tease,
    
    I'm a goddess on my knees.
    
    When you hurt, 
    
    When you suffer,
    
    I'm your angel undercover.
    
    I've been numbed, 
    
    I'm revived,
    
    Can't say I'm not alive,
    
    You know I wouldn't want it any other way.
    
    -Bitch
    
    Meredith Brooks
    
    *
    
                       "Damn you, Tonks!"
    
                       "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" 
    
                       "THAT'S JUST MAKING IT WORSE!!!"
    
                       "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"- Tonks repeated over and over as she hastened over to the shattered cauldron and tapped the tiny pewter pieces with her wand. "_Reparo!" _she said, watching the miniscule pieces stick together like glue. She could still see the cracks where the sides had split upon contact with the dungeon floor. "_Wingardium Leviosa!" _she whispered. The repaired cauldron hovered above the table that Tonks had accidentally pushed it from, causing a bubbling aqua potion to spill across the floor. Snape hadn't noticed yet. 
    
                       "Miss Tonks?" 
    
                       Take that back. 
    
                       Tonks was startled by the greasy voice in her ear. The cauldron fell back to the stone floor and broke again into a million pieces. "Oopsy daisy," she whispered, more to herself than to the Slytherin whose cauldron she had just shattered for the second time. Snape permitted himself to an angry sigh as he went over (more like slid over, on his trail of grease) to the bubbling puddle of spilled potion and began to try to clean up the mess with his wand and some paper towels.
    
                       "Ten points from Gryffindor, for Miss. Tonks's chronic lack of coordination," he said, sweeping the liquid off the floor and back into the cauldron from whence it came with a wave of his wand. A blackened, steaming burnt spot was left behind once the potion was off the floor. The Slytherin that Tonks had offended glared at her from over his twice-in-two-minutes-repaired cauldron. Tonks gave him a weak smile as she went back to her own spot next to Keith and tried to find her place once more in the directions that were written on the board. 
    
                       "Smooth," he said.
    
                       "Thanks," she shot back, adding an infusion of wormwood to her cauldron. The liquid steamed and made a whistling noise. The poisonous-looking bubblegum pink that the potion turned was a far, far cry from the aquamarine mess that had been cleaned up just minutes before, and it wasn't bubbling like it was supposed to. Instead, it was simmering strangely, yellow fumes rising from the shiny surface. The potion belched a single bubble, which hovered an inch above the surface of the liquid in Tonks's cauldron for a moment and then popped. Tonks stared at the vibrant color for a moment and then squeezed her eyes shut. A moment later her hair was exactly the same color as the stuff that was simmering in her cauldron.
    
                       "Will you be so kind not to distract my class with your _morphing?" _Snape said, striding over to where Tonks stood. He got a look at the potion and grinned (that was never a good thing, coming from Snape). "Take another ten points from Gryffindor," he said slickly to the class, squinting at the sickening color that the potion had become. "Are you capable of reading the directions?" he said more quietly in Tonks's ear. "Does it not state clearly on the board _not to add an infusion of wormwood before adding the powdered dragon bone?" _
    
                       "Yes, Professor."
    
                       "Yes, what?" 
    
                       "Yes, it does state on the board not to add an infusion of wormwood before adding the powdered dragon bone. Sir."
    
                       "This is not potions boot camp, Tonks," Snape said, the wicked smile gone, replaced with the greasy, angry look that he wore most often. "Take another ten points, and I expect to be treated with more respect in the future." He glided away over to the Slytherin side of the room and began conversing with some girl that had a forehead to rival the grease factor of Snape's oil-coated hair. Tonks stuck her tongue out at the retreating back of his robes and went over to the stone basins that lined the side of the room. She emptied her cauldron into one of the gray sinks. A stone gargoyle with long fingernails and a constipated look on his face was climbing over the rim of the basin. Tonks rinsed her cauldron out under a spout of icy, grayish water that spewed from the mouths of one of the gargoyle's equally constipated friends and then returned to her seat. 
    
                       Potions was the last class of the day and when it was finally over, Tonks returned to the common room for a bit of a sit-down before dinner began. As a chance to make up for the zero points that she had earned that day in class, Snape was making her write two essays- a three foot one on following directions, and the other a two-foot long paper on how to make a proper energizing potion, which was what they had been trying to concoct in class today. Tonks pulled out a parchment and her quill and set them out on the table in front of her.
    
                       "Why can't they just teach us how to make coffee instead?" Tonks said, her quill making scraping noises against the rough surface of the parchment. "Life would be so much easier if they just taught us how to make good, extra-caffeinated coffee." She set the ruler next to the side of the parchment and started a new line, her writing getting bigger with every sentence.
    
                       "Why can't you just learn to read directions?" Marie asked from her perch on the corner of the table as Tonks measured her essay. 
    
                       "Never have, never will," was her answer. 
    
                       The common room gradually emptied out for dinner, and soon Tonks was alone with her parchment and some studious seventh year that was reading a book entitled _N.E.W.T.s For Dummies. _Feeling rather grateful that she hadn't descended to that low of a level yet (but she expected that she would soon), Tonks finished her first essay on following directions. _I wonder if they make O.W.L.s for Dummies,_ she thought as she wandered down to the Great Hall, habitually glancing at the ceiling as she entered the cavernous room. The sky was blacker than she had ever remembered, and the stars gleamed white in a stark contrast. The Milky Way stretched through the center of the bewitched ceiling, like white brushstrokes that had been placed on the wrong canvas. Tonks crossed the room and sat at her place at the Gryffindor Table after a brief battle with her chair involving knocking it over. Dinner looked especially appetizing tonight, probably since there was less time to enjoy it because she was late. She loaded up her plate and began to eat, listening to conversation rather than taking part in it. 
    
                       The boys were discussing Quidditch and the upcoming tryouts. "There was a notice posted on the bulletin board today," Keith said over his steak, "tryouts are Saturday afternoon, _be there be square._"  He dug into his steak with a sharp knife and speared the piece on his fork. "How're your essays coming along, Tonks?" he asked. 
    
                       Tonks shrugged. "How do _any _of my essays _ever _come along?" she answered. 
    
                       "She's got a point," Smith said. "I dunno if I want to go out for Beater anymore…I think I'd take any position at this point."
    
                       "I'm just going out for everything," said Keith.
    
                       "I'm sticking with Chaser," Marie said. "It doesn't really matter that much to me if I get on the team or not, though, it takes so much time away from your work." Keith glared at her. "You can't pretend that studying isn't important! More important than Quidditch, even, its O.W.L. year, these are the tests that are going to change our lives!" Marie said. "You know I don't _just _want to study, having fun is good too, but I don't want to end up in some position like…" she looked furtively around the room, "in some position like Hagrid's, y'know?"
    
                       "Hagrid's cool," Keith said.
    
                       "That doesn't have anything to do with it," Marie replied quietly. Keith and Smith exchanged glances and shrugged. Girls confused them almost as much as Potions confused Tonks. 
    
                       "Whatever," said Smith. "You can study all you want, just don't drag us into the pits of homework hell with you." Marie sat back in her chair, her eyebrows furrowed, her fork twirling between the fingers of her right hand. The four of them didn't speak for a minute, noise from either ends of the table intruding into their thoughts. 
    
                       Tonks felt it her duty to lighten the uncomfortable atmosphere between the two boys and Marie, so she swallowed her mouthful of corn and said, "I think I might go out for Beater with you, Smith," she said, her voice light. Smith granted her a half smile. Marie sat there with a stony look on her face. A few minutes later she got up and left the table, leaving her full plate at the table. A moment later, Keith leaned over and speared the rest of her steak on his fork and dropped it onto his own plate.  
    
                       "I don't know what's with her," Tonks half-lied apologetically. Unless it was what Tonks thought it was, she had no idea what could be bugging Marie. She couldn't fully believe that Marie was going to study- she had never freaked out this much over exams. Either she had really, really hormonal PMS, or she was stuck on Keith again. Maybe it was both. But, the boys' minds were back on Quidditch and Tonks didn't wish to rehash the subject of Marie's out of control hormones. _I just hope I don't get like that,_ Tonks thought, spilling her cup of pumpkin juice. _But, maybe my damned klutziness is my own way of showing it. I'd rather be the way I am than be the brat that Marie's being right now. Oh well. _
    
    Soon the dinner was gone, replaced by dessert. For once in a lifetime, though, Tonks wasn't hungry and she returned to the dormitory early. Marie was not in the common room, where she would be if she were studying, and Tonks figured that she had taken solace in their deserted dorm room. Tonks decided to respect her privacy and still her curiosity until later when Marie came down.
    
                       Bored, Tonks strolled over to the House bulletin board. **Quidditch tryouts Saturday, on the pitch! Bring your broomstick! **read the biggest announcement. She shoved it aside and scanned the other announcements. **Hogsmeade trip- Halloween **read one, **Lost Gobstone, please contact Mike Wolf (Ravenclaw House) if found, Missing Rat (_approach with caution, he's violent!_)**…
    
                       Tonks sighed and replaced the Quidditch ad, which reminded her that she had better trim the extremely beat up tail ends of her Comet 105, which reminded her that she had to finish her Potions essay before she could do anything else. She got her textbook out of her bag and opened it, leafing through pages of detailed diagrams and pictures until she came to the page on Energizing Potions. She reworded paragraphs and made them sound like her own, and got two feet out of it too. Then she embellished on what she knew, and then on what Smith and Keith knew when they finally returned from the Great Hall.
    
                       "What took you guys so long to get back?" she asked the two, who collapsed hyperventilating into two armchairs.
    
                       "Peeves," Keith got out. 
    
                       "I see," Tonks said, "any injuries?"
    
                       "No, Filch got there before he could inflict any lasting damage," said Smith.
    
                       Keith shook his head. "That painting will never be the same." 
    
                       "How's Marie?" Smith asked.
    
                       Tonks shrugged. "I dunno, she hasn't showed her face around here since I came in, I think she's hiding in the dorm."
    
                       "Let's go check," said Keith, rising from his seat.
    
                       "No, let her have some peace and quiet for a little while," Tonks said, glancing once more at the paragraph about infusion of wormwood. "I think she needs a few minutes alone."
    
                       "OK, whatever," he said, sitting back down. "Wanna play chess?" he asked Smith. "Just for fun," he added, grinning. "No bets."
    
                       "Fine." They set up their board next to where Tonks was sitting. Keith was fueled by the need for revenge that only boys have, and he beat Smith's butt within five minutes. He pumped his arms above his head. 
    
                       "We'll see who's best out of three," Smith said.
    
                       "No way, I beat you."
    
                       "Fine, if you're scared."
    
                       "Set up the board." 
    
                       Tonks finished her essay and turned sideways in her chair so that she could see the whole of the board. Keith beat Smith again. 
    
                       "Gobstones," he said.
    
                       "No."
    
                       "Coward."
    
                       "I'm not a coward, I just don't feel like wasting my time playing someone that's way below my level," Keith retorted. Smith looked furious. 
    
                       "So," Tonks said, "what're you gonna tell McGonagall that you want to be when you get out of here?"
    
                       "I want to work in the Three Broomsticks," said Keith.
    
                       "I don't reckon that they pay too well," Smith said.
    
                       "Then I want to work with animals," Keith said. Care of Magical Creatures was his best subject, and he had a soft spot for animals. "Maybe I could be a vet for them, or a dragon trainer or something cool like that…what about you, Smith?"
    
                       "I don't"-
    
                       "Don't say reckon," Tonks butted in.
    
                       "Fine. I don't _think _that I'm good enough to play Quidditch for England…or for any country, for that matter… but I don't want to be cooped up in an office all day long like those poor Ministry of Magic people," he said. "What 'bout you, Tonks?"
    
                       "Maybe something in Defense Against the Dark Arts," she said, her eyes growing a shade darker than normal. "Maybe something in Muggle Studies… I really have no idea." Her eyes lit with an idea. "Maybe I'll join the circus…like, a morphing trapeze artist or something…yeah," she said. "The circus would be fun. Like, I could jump off the trapeze and morph in midair and then grab the other trapeze and…yeah."
    
                       "Cool," said Smith.
    
                       "I'd pay to see it," said Keith.
    
    *
    
                       Tonks stepped cautiously into the dark dorm room. The curtains were drawn around Marie's bed, and Tonks couldn't hear anything coming from behind them. She sighed and undressed. The door opened, and the three other girls that bunked with them- Iris, Jade, and Amalia- came in. Iris peered around the post of Marie's bed to see if she was there.
    
                       "Is Marie okay?" she asked. 
    
                       "I have no idea," Tonks admitted, sitting down on her bed. The other three girls, all whom Tonks was friends with, went about the motions of getting ready for bed. Jade lay down on her bed, but didn't close the curtains.
    
                       "She has been acting different lately," Jade said from her pillow. Her eyes glinted in the light thrown across the room by the window between Marie and Tonks's bed. Tonks would say that Jade was the prettiest of the three other girls. She had brown hair and pale skin, dark eyes and a nose that fit her face. Iris had deep red hair and green eyes, and a few freckles spattered across the bridge of her nose. Amalia was the quietest of all the girls in the room. She was really smart and was probably one of the best students in the class, and although she had friends she was really shy. She had long hair of raven black, and eyes to match. 
    
                       Slowly they drifted off to sleep, and Tonks soon fell back into her strange dreams. 
    
                       The next morning, Tonks woke at almost the exact same time as Marie did. "Are you okay?" was the first thing out of Tonks's mouth.
    
                       "I guess," Marie shrugged, glancing at the three other sleeping girls. 
    
                       "What was with you last night?" Tonks asked.
    
                       "Sometimes I feel like no one understands me," Marie blurted out. "Not you, not Keith, not Smith, not any of them," she gestured at the three other beds. "I want to do something with my life, Tonks. I didn't mean to exemplify Hagrid like that, and you know I like Hagrid and all, but look what happened to him. He got expelled and had to spend the rest of his life as _Hogwarts groundskeeper. _That must be _awful._ I don't want that to happen to me. You know that Quidditch doesn't matter as much to me as it does to Keith or Smith. Or you." She took a deep breath. "They don't understand, and I don't know if you understand either. I don't understand myself anymore!" she shoved her face into her hands. Tonks shifted on the bed, not knowing what to say. "And the whole thing with Keith doesn't make it any easier," Marie said miserably. "I don't know what I feel anymore."
    
                       "It'll be okay," Tonks said awkwardly. 
    
                       Marie sighed. "I hope so, Tonks," she said looking out the window. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I really, really hope so."
    
    *****
    
                       __


End file.
